


Samhain

by SapphireSmoke



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Incest, Lesbian Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:44:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSmoke/pseuds/SapphireSmoke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgause returns from the dead due to a bargain struck with the Cailleach, but Morgana finds herself unhappy with the terms of the deal. Will she be able to save her sister’s soul, or will she end up dooming herself in the process?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Samhain

**Author's Note:**

> **For:** [FuckYeahMerlinFemslash](http://fuckyeahmerlinfemslash.tumblr.com/) exchange  
>  **Prompt:** Morgana/Morgause, ~~Gwen/Morgana, or Gwen/Morgana/Morgause~~ with a happy ending ~~OR Story of a bi-or pansexual girl getting into a lesbian relationship.~~

  


A look of amused disbelief crossed Morgana’s face when she heard the words that fell from Agravaine’s lips. _Surely he must be joking_ , she thought to herself; but the look on the man’s face was not one of jest. Helios chuckled to himself beside Morgana’s throne, prompting Agravaine to give him a look of utmost disdain. The self-proclaimed Queen of Camelot arched an eyebrow at him, starting to get the impression that Agravaine truly thought this was a matter of great importance that should be discussed _now._

“A King,” Morgana repeated dryly, looking at him like he gone mad merely for suggesting the idea. “Do you ask this question because you presume it should be _you_ who sits beside me on the throne? _You…_ the man who has yet to find and execute Arthur? Explain to me, Agravaine,” she went on, leaning in slightly as a dark look crossed over her face, “why you believe this matter is of more importance than the one I have tasked you with. Explain to me why you stand here before me, rambling about such inconsequential matters when none of it will matter if Arthur is not _dead!”_

Her last words echoed through the throne room; the decibel of it making Agravaine back up a step as an apologetic look masked over his face. “Apologies, my Lady; it was not my intent to suggest that this matter be discussed now. I merely was wondering if you had given it any thought, should we succeed in our endeavors.”

“We _will_ succeed,” Morgana told him dangerously. There was not room to question or doubt that; Camelot would be hers.

Agravaine stumbled over his words, growing a bit flustered that he was displeasing the woman he cared most deeply for. “Yes, of… of course. I do not doubt—”

Morgana waved her hand impatiently, silencing him as she side-glanced Helios, who was chewing rather obnoxiously on a leg of chicken. The sight sickened her slightly, as it was rather barbaric. However, she was more than aware that this entire conversation was coming about _because_ of Helios; or rather, because Morgana was sleeping with him. 

Though Agravaine was a loyal servant, he seemed to have a rather misplaced idea of their relationship. It was obvious that he was in love with her, however the idea that he could possibly believe Morgana could return that love was both unfathomable and completely laughable. Not because she was in love with Helios; she just kept the man around for his army and his many... _other_ talents. He was an outlet for Morgana’s lust, nothing more. Quite honestly she didn’t care either way about the man if he was not currently serving her or _servicing_ her, but it seemed Agravaine had misconstrued what had passed between them both; believing it to have had meaning.

It was entirely ridiculous – let alone a complete waste of everyone’s time – and Morgana did not have the patience for it. “ _If_ I decide to choose a King to reign by my side, who it will be will be _my_ decision, Agravaine,” she told him dangerously. 

“Yeah,” Helios laughed, chicken in his mouth and all. “And it’s unlikely that it will be _you_.”

Fury swam in Agravaine’s eyes but before he could retort, Morgana interrupted. “It’s unlikely that it will be _either_ of you,” she told them pointedly, quickly growing angry. Helios stopped chuckling immediately, rounding on her in disbelief. Seems he had thought it meant more than it did as well. “You both are squabbling over my affections like needy _children_ instead of doing what I’ve asked of you!” Morgana exclaimed. “Might I remind you that this war is not yet won?”

“But that’s what men do, isn’t it? _Fight_ over the affections of a woman,” she mocked heavily, both at them and the entirety of their species. “Well I have no need of it,” Morgana told them, settling back into her throne as she tapped the armrest impatiently. “Nor a King, for that matter; if this is all that is offered to me.”

Agravaine looked astonished by this response. “But my Lady, a Queen should have her King…”

Morgana was about to order them both out of her sight – as she was sick of hearing about petty jealousies and annoyed with the sheer _nerve_ Agravaine had; expecting that she needed a man in her life – but the words never made it out of her mouth.

“Then _I_ shall be her King.”

Both Agravaine and Helios turned towards the voice of a woman in the doorway; a voice Morgana knew all too well. Her heart clenched and her breathing shallowed as her eyes set sight on Morgause, whose gaze burned a hole in her heart. _It isn’t possible_ , Morgana thought, rendered mute momentarily by her astonishment. But there she was; not an apparition nor a figment of her imagination. She was there; she was _here._

_Morgause was alive._

“Who the bloody hell are you?” Helios asked, his tone much too rude for Morgana’s liking. Involuntarily her magick acted before her words were uttered, causing Helios to fall to the floor as he choked on his own breath. It let up once Morgana found herself halfway to her sister, and as she threw her arms around Morgause’s neck she could hear Helios coughing behind her as he struggled to breathe normally once more.

“Morgause…” Agravaine muttered in disbelief, looking upon Morgana’s half-sister like he was questioning everything he once knew about the world.

But it didn’t matter; nothing mattered except the fact that Morgause’s body was warm in Morgana’s embrace, her cheek soft against hers. She was real; _this_ was real. The feeling was so overwhelming that a tear fell from Morgana’s eye as she pressed her lips firmly against her sister’s, fingers tangling in her golden hair. Normally Morgana would be embarrassed by her reaction, but this felt like a miracle and at the moment she didn’t care that she had more than likely crossed a line that sisters should not. Morgause didn’t seem to mind though and when Morgana pulled back, the blonde smiled at her.

“I thought you were lost to me forever,” Morgana breathed, her eyes frantically searching Morgause’s for some answers. It should not be possible that she was back – at least not in sound body and mind – and yet there she was in front of her. Morgause was not a Shade; she was not a shadow of her former self, like Lancelot was. No, she was _whole._ How was this possible?

“You should know better than to believe I would let death keep us apart, dear sister,” Morgause answered, cupping Morgana’s cheek in her hand; her thumb stroking the side of her face. Her eyes flickered around the throne room briefly before her eyes met Morgana’s and her lips turned up into a proud smile. “You’ve come far.”

“I…” Morgana started, but stopped herself mid-sentence as she became acutely aware that they had two sets of prying eyes staring at them from afar. She turned around to face Helios and Agravaine before ordering, “ _Out!_ Can you not see that I am with my sister now? Go do what I’ve asked of you; less you wish to make me angry.” Her eyes glowed gold and the heavy doors to the throne room were thrown open of their own accord, accenting Morgana’s threat for them to leave with a heavy _bang_ against the walls.

Both men looked at each other before exiting the room silently; not wishing to be on the receiving end of Morgana’s rage. There would be a time and a place to express their concerns, and they were both aware that now was not that time.

When they were finally alone Morgause raised an eyebrow slightly. “That was some greeting,” she mentioned casually as she moved to circle Morgana’s self-appointed throne, sliding a finger over the ridges. Her eyes connected to her sister’s; a hint of playfulness behind them as she suggested, “Perhaps I should die more often.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Morgana responded seriously, not ever wanting to think about being put in that situation again. Her cheeks did flush momentarily from the tone in Morgause’s voice, but she didn’t comment on her observation; she felt it best if she just let it slide past and perhaps it wouldn’t be as greatly noticed. 

It worked.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“You have no idea how hard it was for me to—!” But Morgana couldn’t finish her sentence; her throat became tight as she remembered how it felt to slide that dagger into her sister’s skin. She shook her head and looked away. “It was all for nothing, you know; you died in vain.”

“Nothing is in vain if it’s for you,” Morgause answered softly, which made Morgana purse her lips and look up at her. It was strange; seeing her sister again. She had prayed for this day to come so many times; she had exhausted her efforts in trying to find a way to bring Morgause back from the dead whole and human, but she found nothing. And yet there she was in front of her; skin still marred from the curse that flowed through her veins before she died, yet she was still the most beautiful sight that Morgana had ever seen.

Besides, even if it had permanently scarred her, it was obvious it was no longer doing her harm. She was not weak anymore and that was the most important thing. Morgause was strong; she was back where she belonged. She was by Morgana’s side once more.

“How…?” Morgana asked softly, her voice filled with so much wonder and disbelief that the rest of the question needed not to be asked. Morgause smiled at her slightly, tilting her head as she assessed her sister.

“Does it really matter?” 

“Of course it matters!” Morgana exclaimed, taking the last few steps to cross the distance between them. She took her sister’s hands in hers and told her, voice filled with so much latent fear, “I need to know if this is real. I need to know that you’re here to stay.”

Morgause frowned slightly. “You’ve really forgotten what day it is, haven’t you?” 

Morgana’s eyebrows knitted in confusion momentarily before she remembered; like a smack in the face she remembered what damn day it was. _Samhain._ How could she forget? Morgana’s stomach felt like she had swallowed rocks as she stared at her sister, feeling as if her heart was breaking all over again. Samhain meant that Morgause was not here to stay… and that killed her inside.

|x|

“How could you do this to me?!”

Morgause watched with a heavy heart as Morgana stormed around her bed chambers, things breaking of their own accord as her emotions took hold of her magick and seemingly began to explode from her very being. She had fled from the throne room after she realized the date, needing a moment alone to collect herself, but it seemed Morgause had no intention of leaving her alone; and so Morgana lashed out.

“Please, let me explain—”

“Do you think it would be good for me; to see you again for one _damn_ day, knowing I was unable to do nothing to keep you tethered to this world?” Morgana seethed, shooting a blame-filled look in her sister’s direction while a chair cracked to kindling behind her. “I had to watch you die once, Morgause; I will not watch it again!”

“I’m not asking you to!” Morgause exclaimed impatiently. “Morgana, please… you have to believe me when I tell you that I did not wish to cause you distress. I would never intentionally hurt you. Besides,” she went on, grasping both of her sister’s hands in hers to get her complete and undivided attention, “do you honestly think I would come back here if I knew of no way to stay with you? I was not joking when I said I’d be your King, and I cannot do that if I’m only here for one day.”

Morgana looked at her, trying not to get her hopes up as she said, “But I looked! Morgause, I searched for _months_ to try to find a way to get you back to me; no such ritual exists.”

“Did I say it was a ritual?” Morgause countered. Morgana sighed heavily; still feeling as though hope was fleeting as her sister cupped her cheek softly, looking into her eyes. “Morgana, have you not put your trust in me countless times before? Trust me when I tell you I am not going anywhere. I bargained with the Cailleach for safe passage from the spirit world; you need not worry.”

But Morgana knew too well of the Cailleach and asking her not to worry about how this all came about was impossible. “What did you bargain?” she asked, her expression becoming deadly seriously. It would have had to have been a steep price for the Gatekeeper to release one of her own.

Morgause tried to downplay it my shaking her head. “It doesn’t matter…”

“ _Morgause!_ ”

The blonde sighed softly, knowing she was not going to let this slide by undiscussed. “You know why the dead come back this day, do you not?” Morgause asked finally, looking up at her sister. Morgana’s eyebrows furrowed.

“To search for passage into the afterlife by fulfilling their unfinished business. But I don’t understand what that has to do with—”

“I gave up that right,” Morgause finished for her, voice soft. “To have a few more years, or even a few more _moments_ with you I… I gave that up. When I die again, I will forever be trapped between worlds with the Cailleach. There will be no afterlife for me; just servitude to the Gatekeeper. Seems she had need for a High Priestess… I did not think to ask why; perhaps it is better if I don’t know until the time comes.”

Morgana stared at her for a moment, unable to comprehend what Morgause had just told her. She could not understand for the life of her _why_ she would do such a thing; the afterlife was said to be filled with such wondrous things and yet she gave it up? For what; _her?_ To spend a few measly years with her instead of having an eternity of peace? It seemed mad.

“I am not worth that…” Morgana whispered, shaking her head in distress as she pulled away from her sister. “How could you do this to yourself?” she asked, looking on the verge of tears. “How could you give up your freedom for _me?_ You’ll be a slave to the Cailleach for all of eternity, trapped in that awful place…”

“It was an easy choice to make.”

“Well it shouldn’t have been!” Morgana shouted, feeling horrible that her eldest sister constantly felt the need to satisfy her, despite her own needs. She shouldn’t be this self-sacrificing, yet it seemed that’s all Morgause could ever do. Anything, _everything_ she ever did was for Morgana’s benefit… even if it killed her, even if it took away her happiness and peace of mind. “Why?” she asked, distraught. “Why couldn’t you have just finished your business this night and moved on? You should have known this wasn’t what I would have wanted from you. I want you to have _peace,_ Morgause. I want you to have happiness!”

Morgause smiled at her softly, albeit sadly. “You are my happiness, Morgana; how can you not see that?” Morgana didn’t know what to say to that, but it didn’t matter because Morgause brushed a piece of hair behind her ear before cupping the side of her face gently. “Were you not yelling at me not moments ago about how you could not bear to see me for just one night? If I wanted passage to the afterlife I would have had to see _you_ for that, and you told me yourself you would not be able to handle it. You said you did not wish to see me die again.”

Morgana looked at her, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Your unfinished business was to do with me?”

Morgause chuckled softly. “Who else? You’re the only one I care about.” She gave her a small smile before leaning in and kissing her cheek. “Don’t fret about it, sister; I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. There is nothing I did that can be undone, so let’s move forward.”

Morgana didn’t like that answer, but accepted it… for now.

|x|

“I don’t like him,” Morgause mentioned quietly as she watched Helios leave the throne room with his orders from Morgana. Agravaine had left at first light to head out after Arthur and Helios seemed under the impression that meant him and Morgana would be able to spend some “quality” time together; the fool. The last thing on Morgana’s mind was sex and even if she wasn’t preoccupied with her sister’s return, until they found Arthur they were not safe. And so Helios wasn’t exactly thrilled when he was ordered out of the throne room to ‘go do his job,’ but that wasn’t any of Morgana’s concern.

Her sister’s opinion, however; _was._

“Why?”

Morgause drummed her fingers against the throne she sat in, looking to her left briefly to make eye contact with her sister. “He looks at you as though he believes he owns you. That’s dangerous.”

“He doesn’t,” Morgana answered quickly; probably a little _too_ quickly. “He’s a fool with an army; nothing more. Besides, did you not use Cenred for that very reason?”

Morgause gave her a knowing look and told her, “Yes, but I was not sleeping with him.” Morgana flushed slightly at being called out, but said nothing; she kept her face neutral to save her pride. “Morgana, don’t be a fool,” Morgause pleaded gently. “If you keep him too close, he will bite you.”

“Perhaps I like being bitten,” Morgana muttered under her breath.

“Well I do not, and it’s my place beside you that he covets,” Morgause answered. “And believe me when I tell you he will do anything to get it.”

Morgana let out a heavy breath, looking over at her sister in the King’s throne. She understood her concerns, but found her reasoning invalid for them. “I would never allow him to take your place, sister; no man could ever come between us. We’re blood. It is you that will stand by my side forever, not him; not anyone else. You are the only one I would ever share my reign with; it’s because of you I have achieved as much as I have.”

Morgause smiled at her softly, reaching over to cover Morgana’s hand with hers. Their fingers wove together and Morgana felt a heat she had so missed run through her entire body. The closeness she felt with her sister was unlike anything else she had ever felt; it was like they belonged together. How Morgause could question that, Morgana didn’t understand. Could she not feel this as well?

As if reading her mind, Morgause told her softly, “I am not questioning your loyalty to me, merely expressing my concern about those who say they’re loyal to you; when the truth is they would rip everything out from under you just because they desire the power you have.” Morgause squeezed her hand slightly and finished, “I do not need this throne, Morgana; but I am here because it’s what you desire, it’s what makes you happy.”

Though Morgause’s words warmed her, Morgana did not entirely believe them. She side glanced her sister as she mentioned, “You’ve always wanted revenge on Uther; on Arthur because he is Uther’s son… do not pretend that you don’t desire this as well. This is not just my wish, but yours as well.”

“Perhaps once I prioritized my revenge above all else,” Morgause admitted, watching her thumb trace small patterns on the back of Morgana’s hand. “But now I prioritize you and believe me; if this was not the best thing for you, I would have said something because honestly whether we’re here together in this castle or hidden away in a little house in the forest, it does not matter; all that matters is that I’m with you and that you’re happy. I died once for my revenge; now I want to live for something better than that.”

Morgana couldn’t help but smile, hearing the truth in her sister’s words. “And what’s better than revenge?” she asked coyly, wanting to hear Morgause tell her that she wanted to live for her. She didn’t need to hear it; she could _feel_ it, but that still didn’t sate her desire for auditory confirmation any. Morgana wasn’t sure why it was important she hear it, but it was.

Morgause smirked slightly and answered, “If you have to ask, you do not know.”

“Perhaps I would just like to hear you say it.”

Morgause chuckled quietly. But instead of answering directly she responded in all seriousness, “I died with regrets, Morgana; this time around I want to make sure I have none. That’s important to me.”

Morgana raised their linked hands to her lips, kissing the back of Morgause’s hand. “And not prioritizing me and my happiness was one of your regrets?” she asked softly, her lips tickling her sister’s skin as she spoke. Morgana felt this sense of sadness within her that Morgause would think that she didn’t make her happy, because she _did._

“Among other things…” Morgause breathed as she stared at her sister’s lips upon her hand, her tone so low it made a shiver run down Morgana’s spine. 

The brunette’s automatic reaction was to wrap her mouth around one of Morgause’s knuckles, allowing her tongue to steal a taste of something that always seemed so forbidden as she kissed her hand with a little more meaning than just sisterly affection. It was without thought or hesitation and though Morgana knew she should probably be embarrassed, for once she was not; she watched Morgause’s breathing shallow just slightly, saw her pupils dilate, and something inside of her compelled her to ask breathlessly, “What other things…?”

The air was thick between them and silence enveloped the room for one, long moment. But as soon as the moment came it was over, stolen away by Morgause who averted eye contact and smiled slightly, like she was trying to downplay what had just passed between them for whatever reason. “There’s a time and a place to discuss that,” she told her, coaxing their linked hands away from Morgana’s lips to rest back against the arm of her throne. “But that time is not now.”

“Why not?” Morgana asked, her voice a little more pushy than she would have liked it to have come out. But she felt like she just got robbed of something and she didn’t particularly enjoy that feeling.

Morgause looked at her patiently, albeit a little amused. “Because now it’s time for dinner… and our entertainment.” She smirked slightly, clearly looking forward to the little stunts Morgana had Gwaine pull for his own supper. 

Morgana let out a heavy breath, frustrated slightly with her sister’s obvious attempt to steer the conversation away from where it was heading. Morgause stood up and untangled her hand from Morgana’s, but not before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on her sister’s check. She sighed quietly however when Morgana ever so slightly moved her face away, now feeling a bit ashamed for how she had reacted. But Morgause did not let Morgana’s distance deter her any. “Shall we adjourn to the banquet hall?” she suggested, holding out her hand for her sister to take once more.

Morgana looked at her hand for a moment before she finally took it, knowing it was probably best if she left well enough alone. It just confused her and made her feel a bit foolish, was all. She had thought for sure Morgause felt the same kind of heat between them; the same kind of unwavering need to connect to each other as she did, but now Morgana was second guessing herself. Was she making it all up in her head? What she felt when she was with her sister scared her sometimes; the intensity of it… but it didn’t scare her as much as the thought of Morgause not returning her feelings at all.

And that’s what Morgana felt she was facing right now.

|x|

“I’m sorry.”

Morgause towards the entrance to her bedchambers, seeing her sister standing in the threshold to the doorway. Morgana’s expression was regretful and Morgause looked at her patiently, knowing what she was apologizing for. “You have done nothing that warrants an apology, Morgana.”

Morgana felt as though that were not true, but said nothing for a long moment. She wanted to tell her that she did not mean to speak about things they had purposely left unspoken for a long time, but instead all she said was, “Will you sleep with me tonight?” She did not want to be alone; she had spent too many months without Morgause by her side that now even a moment away felt like a lifetime.

Morgause smiled at her. “You miss the days when we shared a bed?”

“I miss feeling safe in your arms,” Morgana told her honestly. Though they shared a bed before out of necessity since they only had one in the small house that they lived in together over the summer, Morgana felt as through distance between them now was a form of torture, and she had never been big on self-punishment. 

“Then of course I will sleep with you tonight,” Morgause answered without hesitation. Morgana gave her a look of gratitude before extending her hand to her sister, leading her into her bedchambers. 

When they had retired to bed, Morgause wrapped the covers around them before settling in against Morgana’s back, sliding her arm around her torso to hold her close. Morgana closed her eyes and emitted a small, content sigh; it felt as though Morgause’s body heat surrounded her entire being. She covered her sister’s hand with her own, holding it tightly; a tiny part of her afraid that Morgause would pull away, even though that had always been the last thing on the blonde’s mind.

They were silent a long time, just enjoying the feeling of being so close to one another again. But distressed thoughts plagued Morgana’s mind and after awhile she said softly, “I’m still afraid I’m going to lose you…”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Morgause promised her softly, but Morgana kept speaking, needing to voice her fears.

She shook her head. “You don’t understand; I have nightmares every night about how you died. Even last night, you were back and I still…” but Morgana trailed off, looking down at their linked hands that rested atop her ribcage. She squeezed Morgause’s hand hard and finished, “It tears me up inside when I remember that you were gone from my life because of my own doing.”

Morgause sighed softly, using her hand that was not already occupied to slide gently through her sister’s hair. “I was dying already, Morgana; you knew that.”

“I could have saved you!”

“You’re not all-powerful,” Morgause reminded her. “Nor am I. I was going to die; I accepted that and felt that if I was to leave this world then it would be on my own terms, not someone else’s. I control my own fate, my own destiny… and I wanted my parting to aid you in your battle against Camelot. I do not regret it.”

“Well I do,” Morgana said quietly. She could hear her sister sigh softly behind her, but she said nothing; Morgause knew it would be pointless to argue Morgana’s feelings on the matter because they would not change. 

“It doesn’t do to dwell on the past, love,” Morgause said after a moment.

Morgana let out a small breath, echoing her sister’s earlier words. “No regrets…” she said softly, closing her eyes. She wished she could do the same, but she found it hard.

“No regrets.”

“Then why did you—?” Morgana started as she opened her eyes once more, but stopped herself halfway through the question. She knew she shouldn’t bring up what happened earlier, but the words fell from her mouth without permission from her brain. It didn’t make sense though; Morgana was sure she had not imagined her sister’s reaction before, but now it felt as if she wasn’t sure of anything at all. She just had this overwhelming desire to be close to Morgause – perhaps a small part due to guilt and a large part to do with the hollowness she felt when she wasn’t around – and because of those things she seemed unable to keep her unorthodox feelings at bay any longer.

Morgause was silent for a moment as her fingers wove gently through Morgana’s hair, massaging her scalp. “I don’t wish to become a distraction for you,” she told her finally. “Not when you’re so close to achieving everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

That was enough confirmation for Morgana and she rolled around in her sister’s arms to face her, seeing the outline of her features in the dim moonlight that shone through the window. “Maybe I want to be distracted,” she whispered, hoping to convey more than her spoken words through her gaze.

Morgause brushed a piece of chocolate hair away from Morgana’s eyes as she responded, “You are already distracted enough by another.”

“Helios means nothing,” Morgana told her passionately, cupping her sister’s cheek in her hand. “You’re the only one I need in my life; surely you must know that by now.”

Morgause smiled at her, bringing her hand up to cover the one that Morgana laid resting against her skin. “I do know that,” she whispered. “But let us focus on making you Queen; it’s what’s important right now.”

Morgana shook her head as she told her honestly, “Nothing is as important as you.” 

It didn’t take much; one look into Morgause’s obsidian eyes – her body pressed snuggly against her own – and suddenly a sense of boldness overtook Morgana’s good sense. She couldn’t pretend any longer; she was sure it would kill her if she tried. And so Morgana leaned in, tangling her fingers in blonde hair as she brought her lips to Morgause’s; with the acceptance that yes, she longed to drown in everything that her eldest sister was. And that was okay. It felt _right._

Though Morgana had a moment’s fear that she wouldn’t, Morgause welcomed the kiss. The tenderness that she showed her made Morgana’s eyes flutter closed and her heart beat wildly in her chest, the feeling of finally finding what it was that she was missing overwhelming her completely. The kiss was brief, but more meaningful than any Morgana had ever had in her life and when Morgause pulled away, she leaned in once more to place a gentle kiss upon Morgana’s forehead.

“Sleep now, sister; we have a long day ahead of us.”

Sleep was the last thing on Morgana’s mind, but she pursed her lips and slowly nodded her consent anyway. They had just taken a big step and perhaps Morgause was right in not wanting to push it too far too fast. They both had other things to worry about right now and if they let this overwhelm them then they would get lost in it; forget the world and turn their backs to their enemies. That wasn’t safe. Not now.

Morgana let her sister wrap her up in her arms as she laid her head on the blonde’s breast. Morgause’s steady, even breathing slowly lulled Morgana into one of the best sleeps she had had for a very long time. No nightmares, no fear; just contentment and safety.

But she should know better than anyone by now that those things never last.

|x|

“We have to keep moving! _Morgana!_ ”

Morgause’s voice was frantic as she tried desperately to hold up her wounded sister, whose blood loss was starting to overtake her consciousness. Morgana tried to focus on her sister’s words, she tried desperately to keep going, but her knees buckled from underneath her. Morgause used every bit of her strength to keep Morgana from falling to the forest floor, but it was obvious the weight of practically having to carry her from Camelot was beginning to take a serious toll on her body; especially after she had twisted her ankle pretty badly on a rock a little ways back. Yet she still held Morgana to her side, trying to keep her from slipping.

“Just… go. Leave me…” Morgana begged her, her voice sounding like a distant echo. The world around her was blurring into nothing and the pain in her side wasn’t as bad anymore, which only meant one thing. “I’m…”

“You’re not dying!” Morgause shouted fiercely; as if the louder she got, the truer it would become. But all Morgana heard were murmurs as the world slipped away from her. Though just as her eyes were about to close she felt a firm hand gripping her chin, yanking her head up to face Morgause. “Do you hear me? I’m not losing you; so just stop it with your ridiculous self-sacrificing platitudes.”

“Like… you did… before you… died…?” Morgana asked, chuckling weakly even though there wasn’t anything funny about it. There wasn’t anything funny about any of this at all. What had happened to their magick? Morgana didn’t understand how something like that could happen; not just to one of them, but to _both_ of them.

Morgause pointedly ignored her and said instead, still struggling to hold Morgana upright, “I need to take you somewhere; we need shelter. I need to find you a Healer! Where…?” She sounded so lost, so desperate, and Morgana wished more than anything else that Morgause would just accept that she would not make it that far. Neither of them had magick and there was no chance of finding a Healer this far north. They should have headed East; the Druids made their camp there, but they had to run without much thought to their direction. Now it was too late.

“Morgause…” she pleaded weakly. “I– I won’t… I _can’t…_ ”

“You can! Morgana, listen to me; this is not the end of you. If there is one thing I can promise you it’s that, alright? Today is not your day to die!” Morgause told her passionately, though it seemed even she was failing to believe in her own words as her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. 

Morgana’s eyes were closed as she rested her head in the crook of her sister’s neck, but she could hear her start to get choked up and it tore her to pieces inside. “Please, Morgana,” Morgause begged as she pressed her lips to the brunette’s forehead. “Please, fight to stay alive. Fight to stay with me... I cannot bear the thought of living without you. Please…”

Morgana wanted to wrap her arms around her neck; wanted to kiss her and express her love for Morgause in every way she could so she could die without any regrets, but it seemed impossible; she couldn’t even stand on her own any longer. She slipped from Morgause’s grasp and when she fell to the earth she knew it should have hurt, but it felt like everything was slipping away and that nothing in her life was solid any longer. She could hear her sister shout her name in the distance; could feel her arms envelop her as she cradled her against her chest, but she could not speak. She could not move.

_I love you._

No matter how hard Morgana tried to utter the words, her mouth would not cooperate. A sense of cold was beginning to creep beneath her skin and it scared her; leaving without being able to say goodbye. She had waited too long; she had wasted what little words she had left to utter. Morgause was crying, desperately trying to hold her hand over Morgana’s wound to keep her blood inside of her body, but it was useless and both of them knew that.

It seemed like decades ago, when she was wrapped in her sister’s embrace in her bed. It seemed like so much had happened; a year’s worth of pain and failure in only one day. Agravaine and Helios were dead, Arthur had taken back Camelot, they were both stripped of their magick and left practically defenseless. If Morgause hadn’t been an expert swordswoman, Morgana knew they probably would have never made it out of the castle alive. Maybe if she had just stayed back like Morgause told her, maybe if she didn’t try to help; try to fight… maybe she wouldn’t have gotten stabbed. Maybe she wouldn’t be dying. Maybe she wouldn’t be breaking her sister’s heart as she slowly slipped away from this world.

“You’re my whole world, Morgana; please… Please fight, please stay here with me… _please…_ ”

She couldn’t die; not yet, not without telling her! Morgana would be nothing without Morgause; she would have lived a life without knowing truth, love, and unwavering loyalty. And so she fought. She fought as hard as she could because she didn’t want to have to come back next Samhain and tell her then, when it would all be lost; when it all wouldn’t matter anymore. So it took every bit of strength left inside of Morgana, but finally she began to mutter weakly, “Morgause… I… I…” 

Though before she could tell her that she loved her, consciousness slipped from her grasp and the world faded to black around her.

|x|

Everything around her was bright; so bright that it blinded Morgana and she had to shut her eyes again, its assault to her vision being too much for her right now. She wasn’t in any pain though, so she thought she must be dead. But it was strange; she felt as though she was lying in a bed and surely this couldn’t be what the afterlife was like. It felt too… human. She could feel someone’s breath against her cheek and when she tried to move she felt them groan softly.

Where was she? How did she survive? _Where was Morgause?!_

Morgana could remember the forest vaguely. Her sister, her wound, the… the dragon? Morgana’s brain was muddled and her memories distorted, and confusion and panic was beginning to wash over her in waves. She sat upright, knocking the person who was half on top of her onto the floor and only when her vision cleared and the world came into perfect view did she realize it was Morgause who was with her.

Her eyes were wide with confusion and some residual fear, not recognizing where they were. But she didn’t have a moment to process it because the moment she had woken her sister by practically throwing her onto the floor was only seconds before she was being kissed with the most intense relief that practically poured from Morgause’s entire being. Morgana was too much in shock to kiss her back; still reeling with the fact that _she wasn’t dead,_ but the kiss didn’t last long. Morgause’s fingers weaved in her hair as she pressed her forehead to hers, her voice coming out strained as she told her, “I thought I had lost you…”

“I…” Morgana tried, but found she didn’t know what question to ask first and so she seemed at a loss for words. She pulled back a little as her eyes frantically searched Morgause’s, trying to convey her confusion and desperation in them. 

She had absolutely no idea what was going on and Morgana hated the unknown; it had always terrified her.

“Shh, I know,” Morgause breathed against her lips, closing her eyes momentarily as she continued to keep a hold on her. “You’re safe; I promise you, you’re safe now… I will _always_ keep you safe…”

Morgana, despite still not knowing what was going on, found comfort in her sister’s words. She nodded as all of her emotions welled up inside of her rather suddenly, now that fear was not taking ahold of her. A tear fell down her cheek and when Morgause went to wipe it from her cheek, Morgana pushed her hand away and grabbed the back of her neck, this time being the one to pull their lips together. It didn’t matter then how she survived, it didn’t matter where they were; all that mattered was that Morgause was with her and she could finally tell her, “I love you.” 

Her words came out mumbled against Morgause’s lips, but it didn’t matter; she understood them. Morgana didn’t care about anything else besides that, because she nearly died without telling her, “I… I think I’m in love with you.” She knew how strange it sounded, but she was too relieved that she had a chance to say it to care much about what was right and what was not. But she also knew ‘think’ was the not correct word. She _knew…_ “I’m so in love with you I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes…” Morgana admitted, her voice heavy with relieved tears as she held Morgause as close as she could to her, afraid to let her go.

“I fell in love with you the first time I saw you,” Morgause breathed against her lips, cupping Morgana’s cheek in her hand as she wiped away her fallen tears with her thumb. “I prayed every day that you would feel the same…”

“I did,” Morgana told her, voice quaking. “I _do._ I…” But her words made way to tears and she found she didn’t need to say anything anyway. Morgause wrapped her up in her arms and Morgana buried her face in her neck, squeezing her impossibly close; and there they stayed for a good long while, for the first time focusing on what they were thankful they had, rather than planning revenge for the things they did not. Because they didn’t matter right then; not Arthur, not the throne… they were nothing compared to the fact that they were both alive, they were both _here_ with one another; they were both with the person who loved them the most in the world.

After Morgana had stopped crying, she kissed Morgause’s neck softly; the base and once more behind her ear before she slowly pulled back, glancing around the room they were in. It looked as if it had been torn apart, which probably meant the house was abandoned. Regardless, it still begged the questions, “Where are we? How did I…? Why am I not dead?”

“We’re safe,” Morgause answered, lacing her fingers in Morgana’s before moving to lie down, coaxing her sister to come with her. “You should rest…”

Morgana came without a fuss and laid her head atop Morgause’s breast, but she felt as if she had been sleeping for ages; it was the last thing she wanted to do now. She wrapped her arm around the blonde’s torso as she snuggled into her side. “I’m not tired,” she told her softly, looking up into her sister’s eyes. “What happened? Please, I need to know. My head feels like it’s been taken off and put on backwards and I hate not knowing what’s going on; you know this.”

Morgause gave her an understanding smile as she stroked her hair. She knew that better than anyone. “You were saved by magick, sister; you should have seen it. It was… a miracle; incredible. We are not forgotten, I promise you that…”

“Are you speaking of the dragon? That was real?” Morgana asked, surprise etching over her features. She had thought it was only a figment of her imagination; a hallucination due to the blood loss she had suffered. “I had thought they had long died out.”

“It’s been said the Great Dragon still roams this earth, but it is thousands of years old,” Morgause told her, continuing to rake her fingers gently through her hair. “Kilgharrah, I believe it’s called. But this… Morgana, this dragon that saved you could not have been hatched more than a year ago. I don’t know how it is possible. Perhaps…” she smiled softly, looking down at Morgana. “Perhaps there is greatness left in store for you, dear sister. You have a destiny to adhere to…”

_He is your destiny… and he is your doom._

“No,” Morgana said quickly, causing her sister’s eyebrows to rise in surprise. “I…” She what? She no longer coveted the throne of Camelot? That was a lie; the throne was rightfully hers. But part of Morgana was scared; not of Emrys specifically, but of anything that could cause her to become separated from Morgause. They could not be together in death due to Morgause’s deal with the Gatekeeper, so life was all they had. It was so short already and Morgana was afraid if she continued on the way she did, she would cut their time in half, if not more. She did not know if that was a risk she was willing to take any longer.

Morgause seemed to understand her fear and she leaned down, kissing the top of her head comfortingly. “Do not let fear run your life, Morgana; that is such an awful way to live…”

Morgana swallowed heavily, knowing she was right. Still, it didn’t change the fact that, “I just cannot bear the thought of being without you.”

“I am here now.”

“But for how long?” Morgana replied, looking up at her sister seriously. “How long will we last _really,_ without our magick?”

Morgause smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye. “Who said we were still without magick?” Her soft brown eyes glowed gold momentarily and an already destroyed chair in the corner split right in half. Morgana’s eyes went wide with surprise, having thought they were truly stripped from their powers, and she immediately tried her own. She ignited the chair Morgause had split on fire, which her sister put out immediately after so it did not set aflame the whole house.

Morgana’s smile was ear to ear. “How…?”

“Whatever spell was used on us must have faded,” Morgause replied. Her face immediately darkened as she went on, “Though I still wish I knew who was able to do such a thing to us…” 

“Emrys,” Morgana answered without thought, voice dangerously low. Off of Morgause’s confused look she explained. “When we tore the veil between the worlds, the Gatekeeper warned me of him. She said… she said that he would be my doom.” The last sentence was said softly, as if she did not wish to say it out loud, less that make it more real.

“We will be _his_ doom,” Morgause promised her passionately, her eyes igniting with the spark of protectiveness Morgana had always loved more than anything else. Still, it being foretold worried her; she could not help that. Morgause seemed to see that and she leaned in, pressing her lips to her ear as she whispered, “I will _never_ let anyone take you from me, Morgana. I promise you…”

Morgana closed her eyes, trying to find comfort in her sister’s words. She knew Morgause would do everything to keep them from being separated, yes; but she had almost died earlier and Morgause could not save her due to being stripped from her magick. What if that were to happen again? What if—

“Stop,” Morgause requested softly before kissing Morgana’s jawline. “Do not let fear become your Master. We’re safe here, now; in this moment. Live for this, not for what may or may not come in the future.”

Morgana nodded gently, eyes still closed as she took heed of her sister’s words. She was right; she would drive herself mad if she allowed herself to be plagued with the ‘what if’s’ of life. They were safe now, they were together _now_ , and they should enjoy that. Though… “Where is ‘here,’ exactly?” Morgana asked, wanting to make sure they had crossed the border. Otherwise, they needed to keep moving.

“We’re in Ealdor; what used to be Cenred’s Kingdom.”

“King Lot rules it now,” Morgana told her. “I’ve heard he does not take well to strangers.”

Morgause chuckled. “I killed one King of Escetia; if this one attempts to take action against our presence I have no qualms with killing another.” She pursed her lips momentarily as she looked around the house. “Do you like it here?” 

“It needs work but…” Morgana smiled, knowing why Morgause was asking. “Yes. Did you find it abandoned?”

“Mmm,” Morgause murmured in response. “There’s some dried blood in the kitchen and it seems the whole house has been looted, so it’s my guess the previous owner was killed.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “But their loss is our gain, it seems. Though I agree; it does need work, I think it’s…”

“Home,” Morgana finished for her softly, looking around with a small smile on her face.

“For now.”

“Mmm,” Morgana murmured, nuzzling her face into her sister’s neck. She knew Morgause could not stay in one spot for too long, but she would take what she could get when she could get it, and for how long she could get it for.

Morgause smirked. “Will I have to craft you a separate bed? Because I—” But Morgana didn’t let her finish. She playfully bit the base of her neck, making Morgause’s cry of surprise become mixed with amused chuckling.

“Don’t be stupid.”

|x|

“Why will you not let me see you?” Morgana asked finally after her umpteenth attempt to disrobe her sister had ended in Morgause pushing her hands away.

It had been a fortnight since they had found themselves in their new home and though Morgana had tried many times to take their relationship to the next level, it seemed Morgause did not want that. It disheartened her for a variety of reasons and made her worry that perhaps her sister did not find her sexually attractive. But if that was the case, why was Morgause so quick to kiss her at every chance she could get? It seemed unreasonable.

Morgause avoided the question with a teasing, “Perhaps I just have more modesty than you.”

“I’m serious,” Morgana answered, looking up at her sister who was straddling her waist. It had seemed like everything was going fine; they were kissing and grabbing at one another, Morgause’s breathing had been labored and Morgana _knew_ she must be turned on and yet once again… nothing. “Do you not want to because we’re...?”

“Blood?” Morgause finished for her. “No, of course not.” Once again she tried to find a way around the issue by undoing the strings that held together Morgana’s robe, freeing her breasts to the cool night air. She looked down at her, tongue snaking out to wet her bottom lip slowly as her eyes raked over Morgana’s skin, making her flush a little from the intensity of her gaze. “If you wished for me to touch you, Morgana; all you had to do was ask…” she breathed, sliding her hand up her sister’s torso.

Morgana knew she must be going mad for not allowing her to continue, but she grabbed Morgause’s wrist in her hand and stopped her before she reached her breasts. “I want us to touch each _other,_ ” she told her softly. “I do not want this relationship to be one-sided.”

Morgause shook her head as she tried to untangle herself from Morgana’s grip so she could touch her again. “I don’t need you to—”

“Well perhaps _I_ need it.”

Morgause stopped, sighing softly. “Why?” she asked; a question which Morgana found to be ridiculous. “Why does it matter, if you’ll get your satisfaction either way?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” Morgana told her without hesitation, “and depriving me of that beauty feels torturous, Morgause.”

The blonde stared at her for a moment, this look of utter disbelief on her face. “I know how I look; and I really wish you wouldn’t lie to me.”

Morgana stared at her and this time it was her turn to look disbelieving. “How can you think that I would?”

That answer seemed to anger Morgause and she erratically motioned the scars that covered half her face, which now made Morgana wonder if perhaps they covered half her _body_ by the way her sister was acting. “Do you choose to be blind to this? Because I’m not; I know how I look and if you continue to sit there and patronize me you’re going to make me angry.”

“I’m not patronizing you!” Morgana exclaimed, horrified that she would think that. “I don’t care that you’re scarred, Morgause! Do you honestly think I’m that shallow that something like that would deter me? Because if you do then I think it should be _me_ that’s insulted in this situation.” Her face darkened and she pushed Morgause off of her so she could get up. She would not sit here and take this; she couldn’t believe her sister thought so low of her!

“Morgana!”

She was ignored as Morgana stormed out of the bedroom, tying her robe back up again angrily. This was ridiculous.

“ _Morgana!_ ”

“What?!” Morgana exclaimed, rounding on Morgause who was halfway out of the bedroom, coming after her. “Will you just leave me be? I don’t want to talk to you right now; let me make dinner in peace, less you wish not to eat.” She was seriously _this close_ to letting her sister fend for herself after that insult.

“Morgana, I’m sorry,” Morgause apologized, looking regretful as she crossed the remaining distance between them. “Please, I did not wish to make you angry…” She tried to reach for her hand, but Morgana pulled it out of reach quickly.

“You called me a liar!”

“Well I don’t see my reflection as you see it!” Morgause exclaimed, quickly becoming frustrated. “All I see is this monster in place of the face I had always known. I don’t feel like _me_ and I’m sorry but it’s hard for me to believe your words when I barely recognize myself anymore.”

Hearing her sister call herself a monster broke Morgana’s heart and all previous thoughts of anger flew out the window. She looked at her sadly, hating that Morgause could ever think of herself in that way. “Well I recognize you,” Morgana told her softly, raising her hand to cup her sister’s cheek, but Morgause turned her face away because it would have been her scarred cheek. Morgana sighed. “Please, just let me…” she coaxed softly, testing the waters as she tried to move her hand towards her again, this time slower. It seemed for a moment Morgause would pull away again, but she finally allowed her to touch her and Morgana dragged her fingertips over her raised skin. 

“This doesn’t matter to me,” she told her honestly. “They’re just scars, Morgause; all they do is prove that you’re human. If this is because you care that people look at you differently now—”

“I don’t,” Morgause interrupted. “I care for no one’s thoughts other than yours.”

“Then why are you still acting this way? You never struck me as someone who would be this vain. If the positions were reversed; if it was me who was scarred like this, would you not want to touch me?”

“Of course not!” Morgause answered, sighing in frustration. She stepped away from Morgana and ran her fingers through her hair as she paced back and forth. “It’s just… _different_ when it’s yourself. It’s hard to be seductive when you no longer feel sexy—”

“You _are_ sexy!”

“Fine, perhaps I am to you; but do you honestly think you would be so quick to undress for me if you thought yourself ugly?” Morgause countered, which for once made Morgana at a loss for words because she could finally see where her sister was coming from. This really wasn’t about how Morgana saw her at all; this had to do with how Morgause saw herself. And that devastated her immensely because she had absolutely no idea how to fix her sister’s self-image. “I thought not,” Morgause finished, noting Morgana’s silence.

The brunette sorceress let out a heavy breath, looking at her sister helplessly. “Is there… _anything_ I can do?” Morgana asked quietly, wanting to help but having no idea how. Morgause smiled at her softly, appreciating that her sister wished to help.

“I think I just need time to get used to it,” she told her honestly. Morgana understood that; before Morgause knew she was going to die so it didn’t matter, but now she realized she was going to have to live with the way she looked. “I used to use seduction as a weapon, so I believe I just feel…”

“Vulnerable without it?” Morgana finished for her softly, guessing. She didn’t understand why Morgause would _need_ it to be used like a weapon when she was with her, but perhaps it was just came natural to her. Or maybe it was the only way she had ever known how to use it; which was a sad thought but at the same time, it wasn’t as if Morgana had many lovers she cared about either.

“Perhaps.” Morgause pursed her lips for a moment before holding out her hand to her sister in invitation. “But that doesn’t mean that I need time to touch _you…_ ” She smirked slightly at her, watching Morgana’s pupils dilate slightly at the thought.

Still… “No,” she told her, shaking her head slightly. Morgana knew she must be mad for turning that down, but like she had said before; she didn’t want this to be one-sided. “When we… I just—I want it to be about both of us. So I can wait; I’ll wait for you to be ready.”

Morgause raised her eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

_No._

“Yes.”

Morgana was going to have to be, because what other choice did she have? Morgause routinely gave up so much for Morgana already, and pleasure was not one of the things she ever wanted her to sacrifice. That was important to her.

|x|

“Morgana, what are you doing awake? Come back to bed.”

Though her eyes were heavy with sleep deprivation, Morgana shook her head. She had been pouring over spell books for hours now, trying to find a way to reverse what Morgause had promised the Gatekeeper. She knew it was a futile task, but she had to try; she still could not accept that in death they would find themselves separated. They had such little time together in life as it was; they could die at any moment. Time was not something that was guaranteed anyone.

Morgana heard her sister yawn before hands slid over her shoulder and down her chest, Morgause holding her from behind as she looked over her shoulder. “What are you doing?” she asked, looking at the book Morgana was reading. 

“Nothing,” Morgana replied quickly, trying to shut the book before Morgause could get a good look at it. “I was… just trying to find a way to heal your scars so you’d feel more comfortable,” she lied. She must have gotten away with Morgause not seeing what she was truly reading, because she did not call her on her bluff.

“There’s no use,” Morgause told her patiently. “It would only be an illusion; it would change nothing.”

“Beauty is _always_ only an illusion, Morgause,” Morgana replied pointedly, sliding her hands up to grasp both of her sister’s that were around her. “Didn’t you know that?” Morgause chuckled softly in her ear.

“Yours isn’t,” she whispered, kissing her neck softly. Morgana closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of her sister’s lips against her skin.

“I think mine is more than anyone’s,” Morgana breathed honestly, which made Morgause stop kissing her and straighten up a little.

“Why would you think that?”

Morgana sighed, looking out the far window at the moon shining high in the sky. “Because I believe truly beautiful people are able to convince others to see their own beauty as well. I seem to not be able to do that, hard as I try.”

Morgause moved around to the front of the chair, stepping over Morgana to straddle her waist; getting her full attention by being on top of her. She looked down at her, eyes searching hers momentarily before she asked, “And where would you get an idea like that?” Her fingers traced Morgana’s jawline softly before she finished, “Perfection does not breed perfection, Morgana; you cannot expect to just touch something and fix it, that’s unreasonable.”

“I don’t think it’s unreasonable,” Morgana argued. “If my beauty truly runs as deep as you think it does, then I should be able to help you. That’s what beautiful people do, do they not? What _good_ people do; touch lives for the better? So why can I not touch you like that, if I’m as perfect as you say?”

“You expect too much of yourself.”

“Perhaps.”

“And I never said you didn’t touch me; you’ve changed my life more than anyone else I have ever known. I never knew love and I never knew loyalty until I had you,” Morgause told her softly, brushing a piece of chocolate hair from her sister’s eyes. “You’re everything to me, Morgana,” she finished in a whisper, the honesty and love in her tone making the brunette’s heart skip a beat. She wrapped her fingers around the one Morgause’s hand, turning it to kiss the back of it.

“I want to be everything _for_ you,” she breathed.

“You are.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

Morgause took a long breath, looking down at her sister. It was obvious she didn’t like that Morgana could not believe that, but it seemed she was also at a loss about how to prove it.

“Can we just—” Morgana tried, grasping her hand a little firmer as she raked her eyes over her sister’s form, trying to come up with some sort of compromise, “…take it slow?”

Morgause sighed a little. “You put too much stock in sex, Morgana. It really isn’t as important as you believe it to be.”

“Perhaps not, but that didn’t answer my question.”

“You have absolutely no patience.”

“I nearly died not too long ago,” Morgana told her seriously, looking up at her. “I’ve watched you die once before. You told me once that we should not live with regrets and seeing as time is not guaranteed to us, _no_ ; or course I do not have patience. The world could be ripped away from us tomorrow; there is no way of knowing. I don’t want to die without having—” 

“Fucked me?” Morgause finished crudely. Her language made Morgana flush a little, but she admitted without hesitation:

“Yes, I do not want to die without having _fucked_ you.” 

The blonde was silent for a moment, looking Morgana over as if she wished to see more of her than just the physical; get answers without the questions. But it seemed she was unable to do so, so she finally asked, “Why is this so important to you?”

“Because I dream every night of making you scream in pleasure beneath me,” Morgana told her passionately, needing her sister to feel the truth in that. She slid her hands around her hips and sat up a little straighter so there was only a fraction of distance left between them. “You’ve given me so much in your life, Morgause; and maybe I can never repay it in kind, but I know I can at least give you that much, if only you’d let me…”

Morgause was silent, but Morgana took that as a good thing; it meant she couldn’t argue the point.

She ghosted her lips across her sister’s before moving to her neck, kissing her softly. “I know you’ve thought about it,” Morgana whispered, allowing her fingertips to trace the dip in her sister’s waist. She placed a long, opened mouth kiss on Morgause’s collar bone, making her shiver involuntarily as she traced the ridge with her tongue. “I heard you say my name when you were touching yourself the other night,” she admitted.

Morgause closed her eyes, looking halfway between being ashamed and aroused. “I thought you were asleep; I did not mean for you to hear that. I don’t wish to—”

“Tease me?” Morgana finished for her, turning her head up to look her in the eyes when Morgause finally opened hers again. “Because you do that just by existing.” Morgana cupped the back of her neck, needing her undivided attention as she said, “You do not have to lie in bed at night imagining that it’s my hand that’s touching you, Morgause; that fantasy could be real, if only you’d let it.”

“I know that,” her sister replied softly.

“Then why do you insist on pleasuring yourself in my stead?” Morgana asked, feeling a little put out. “Surely you know that being with another is better than being with yourself.”

“Of course I know that!” Morgause exclaimed, looking incredibly flustered, yet frustrated with where this conversation was going. “But in my fantasies I’m not scarred; in them, you don’t look upon my body in horror.”

“When have I _ever—!_ ” Morgana started, growing incredibly defensive all of a sudden. She had never looked at her sister like that; never!

“You haven’t yet, no; but all you’ve seen is my face and neck,” Morgause told her pointedly. “You don’t _know_ how the rest of my body looks and I don’t think I could bare it if you looked at me in disgust! Perhaps it is vain, perhaps I shouldn’t care and be above such superficial matters, but when you live your whole life beautiful and then suddenly you find that one day you’re not, it matters! I wish more than anything that it didn’t; that I could love you in every way possible without my selfish fears getting in the way of everything, but I’m only human, Morgana!”

“Then let me do a glamour!” Morgana exclaimed. “If you’re that afraid of me seeing your scars then let me hide them!”

“And then wonder if you’re only turned on by my body because of this false image I’m projecting on you? No,” Morgause replied, looking at her like she couldn’t believe she would suggest that. “In a way, that’s even worse.”

“Well I don’t know what you want from me then!” Morgana shouted, starting to hate how turned on she always was around her sister, yet never being allotted any kind of release. It was torturous. “If I’m so much _better_ in your fantasies than perhaps you should only have them,” she finished bitterly, pushing at Morgause’s leg so she would get off of her. She just needed to get out of there; go for a walk, clear her head. Her sister did move off of her, but not without first accusing:

“You’re acting like a child! Just because things aren’t going the way you’d hoped, doesn’t mean you should write everything off! You said you’d wait for me, that you’d have patience; what happened to that?”

Morgana stopped, turning back around before she had reached the door. “I heard you fuck yourself the other night and the sound of it broke my heart,” she replied evenly, trying to not look upset. “ _That’s_ what happened to that.”

Morgause stared at her, looking perplexed with that answer. “Why would it…?”

“Because a part of me knew that you would only ever trust me enough to make you happy inside of your own head,” Morgana answered, sadness tingeing every word.

“That’s not true…”

“Maybe not, but it feels like it right now.”

Morgause looked at her sympathetically, not knowing what to say to that. She was silent for a moment before she tried, “Please just… come back to bed? We can talk about this in the morning.” Morgana shook her head as she headed over towards the front door.

“I need to some space; clear my head. You sleep.”

“Morgana—”

But Morgana left the house and didn’t look back, knowing she was unable to deal with this properly right now. Morgause was right; she was being childish. She knew that, and yet it seemed she couldn’t help it. And Morgana knew that if she wasn’t careful, she might just end up ruining everything. 

That was the last thing she wanted.

|x|

“You were foolish to summon me here, child.”

Morgana tried to not look frightened as she gazed upon the Cailleach in her summoning circle in the midst of the Isle of the Blessed. She held her right wrist firmly with her left hand, trying to stop the blood flow momentarily as she got her bearings. It was not her first choice to use her own blood as the sacrifice the summoning ritual required, but Morgana did not wish to alert anyone in Camelot to something amiss when she was trying to stay hidden away with her sister for the time being. As she was not tearing the veil between the worlds she did not have to give the Cailleach a life, but it seemed any spell to bring forth someone as powerful as the Gatekeeper required blood to be spilled. Especially because she was essentially trapping her there for the time being, just so she could speak with her.

Before Morgana said anything though, she moved her hand from her wrist and tried to heal herself. However, the attempt only made the Cailleach laugh and Morgana’s heart rate triple when she realized she could not. She frantically held her wrist again, chiding herself on being so bloody _stupid_ to cut as deep as she had, or perhaps not reading all that she should have about the ritual before coming here. 

But she had yet to return to the house. During her walk she had this intense urge to prove to her sister that she was worthy of her trust and of her love and headed out for the Isle of the Blessed without a word of goodbye or leave. Looking back on that, three days prior to now, Morgana found she should have done a lot of things before leaving that night. But it was an impulse decision and she prayed it would not be one she would regret. Now that she was here, she must do what she came here to do.

“You will not be able to heal yourself until I am returned,” the Cailleach told her, looking far too amused by Morgana’s naivety as she tried to stifle the blood flow with pressure. “So for you sake, best make this a quick conversation or I shall claim you as my own sooner than you thought, Morgana Pendragon.”

Morgana looked up at her, fire in her eyes at the Cailleach’s taunting. “You know why I am here, do you not?”

The Cailleach looked her over momentarily, as if she were reading invisible marks etched upon her skin. “You have come to bargain for your sister’s servitude,” she answered. Morgana nodded. “But you have come in vain; I do not let go of the souls I am entrusted with, not for anyone… not even a High Priestess such as yourself. Your status in the living world means nothing to me; you are just another soul passing, briefly knowing a physical life. Everyone, even you, become mine in the end.”

“Souls are only yours if they are lost,” Morgana argued. “Or if they are tethered to the world between worlds, unable to move on due to regret or vengeance. You do not own everyone in the end; least of all me.” Morgana did not give the Cailleach a chance to respond to that though, for she immediately jumped into, “You had Morgause and you struck a bargain and let her go, _because_ of who she was in the living world. Do not pretend we are unimportant to you, Gatekeeper; I know better.”

The Cailleach looked amused by Morgana’s accusations. “I need not _you_ , child; I already have your sister. She is enough… for now.”

“Why do you need her?” Morgana demanded. “Why do you need Morgause, when you can take me in her stead?”

“I did not say that I could not have you in her stead; I could, if I wanted.” Morgana felt a glimmer of hope for her sister’s fate, however it was extinguished quickly. “But I do not,” the Cailleach told her. “I do not make _trades._ Your sister has made a deal and she plans to honor it; I suggest you find it in yourself to accept that, considering the High Priestess’ time is drawing to its final close.”

Morgana’s stomach dropped at those words. “What are you talking about?” she demanded, fear overtaking her. “Tell me!”

The Gatekeeper looked amused at Morgana’s frantic reaction. “It was you that sealed her fate by making the journey here; if you had not come, she would not die,” she answered, seemingly taking pleasure in watching Morgana’s face fall white as a sheet. “She will ride towards Camelot at first light; afraid you have been taken by the young King. If you are not there to stop her, she will fall victim to one of the knight’s blades come midday; weakened by the warlock Emrys.”

Morgana felt as though she could not breathe. Her legs gave out from underneath her and she collapsed on the stone flooring, feeling as though she would vomit. There was no way she could get back there in time; the journey here was three days in itself. It made her want to tear the world apart, hear everything and everyone scream beneath the weight of her anguish. She could not be the one at fault for Morgause’s death again; she _couldn’t!_

“No…!” she breathed, unable to utter any other word but that. Morgana felt as though the world was slipping away from her and she tried desperately not to faint, but it was hard to keep hold of her bearings when reality made her want to die herself.

“ _Yes,_ ” the Cailleach answered, unsympathetically. “In trying to save your sister… you have condemned her to death. Perhaps you’ll do well to remember next time that you should not toy with forces beyond your control.”

Morgana’s eyes shot up towards the Gatekeeper, fury and pain swirling beneath her obsidian orbs. “You knew this would happen!” she accused. “It was you who arranged this! You knew I would come here and bargain for my sister once she had told me what it was that she had promised you! You let Morgause go; let her think she had _time_ when all along you were planning to rip it away from her!”

The Cailleach no longer looked amused by Morgana’s blatant disrespect. “It was your decision to come here tonight, Morgana; I had no hand in that. I merely hoped that you would.”

“Why?!”

“Because despite what you believe, you are not the one to usher in a new world!” The Cailleach bellowed, her voice sending icy shivers down Morgana’s spine. “It is not your destiny to save the Old Religion; that responsibility lies on another’s shoulders and if it does not happen, all will be lost. _I_ will be lost.”

Morgana stared at her, finally understanding something. “…And if you are forgotten, you cease to exist.”

“Christianity is a plague upon this earth but it will never be eradicated completely. The Old Ways will either live on in the hearts of a few, or be completely forgotten in time. _You_ threaten our hope, Morgana Pendragon; you seek to destroy the one person who could save us all.”

Morgana looked at her in disbelief. “Emrys?” she asked, unable to comprehend how someone who stands by Arthur could ever hope to save the Old Religion. He had magick, but he protected someone who sought to wipe it out, just as his father had. “But he supports Uther’s son! Arthur, who has the same narrow-minded belief that his father had about the Old Ways!”

“You foolish child,” the Cailleach responded, fire in her eyes. “Arthur is the one to bring about a New Age. He is the one who will save the land and all of us. He simply has yet to find that path, but he will; and he _will_ walk it, Emrys by his side.”

Morgana could not believe the words she was hearing, but Arthur’s fate mattered little in comparison to her sister’s. “Then I will leave him be!” she promised, desperately. “Please, just save my sister! I cannot bear to live without her, _please!_ ”

“That is beyond my power,” the Cailleach told her, making Morgana’s heart tighten in her chest. “However,” she went on, a tone that had Morgana’s full attention instantly. “I could get you back to her in time. _If_ you were to do something for me.”

“Anything!” Morgana answered without thought, her fear for her sister’s life taking precedence over all else. She felt weak, dizzy, and she was sure she only had a few moment’s left of consciousness. Her blood loss, coupled with her overwhelming feeling of despair was becoming too great for her to handle.

“Eternal servitude,” the Cailleach told her, giving her terms. “Just as I’ve gotten from your sister.”

Morgana stared up at her, realization dawning on her. “You wanted us both all along,” she concluded softly. “But… why? So we would not interfere with Emrys’ destiny; with _Arthur’s?_ ”

“No,” the Cailleach responded. “Despite my warning, one day you will go against everything I have told you; driven by hatred and revenge, you will battle Emrys for your place on Arthur’s throne… and you will lose. Knowing that will not stop you, for this Great Battle was foretold centuries ago and despite the future ever-changing, this is one thing that has always stayed constant. You have your place in destiny, Morgana Pendragon; but it is not where you believe.”

“Then why…?” Morgana tried, but it was becoming a struggle just to stay conscious. Her world was blackening around her and she knew she only had but a moment.

“Because High Priestesses are the daughters of the Gods,” the Cailleach told her. “If all hope is lost, your magick will secure my continued existence… at least for another few centuries.”

“You don’t… so you don’t even know if… if Emrys will save you… then…” Morgana struggled to get out, unable to help feeling bitter that the pivotal figures of the Old Religion were revolving their hope around someone who Morgana was sure would end them all. But in hindsight, it mattered not; Morgause was all that mattered. She would not allow her to die this day.

“I am careful,” the Cailleach corrected. “Now… you have only but a moment before your blood loss robs you of your consciousness. What say you; do we have an accord, or shall I begin preparing for your sister’s arrival…?”

“ _Yes,_ ” Morgana struggled to get out, her eyelids weighing heavy as her head swam. “Yes we… have a… a deal…”

And as her world faded to black around her, Morgana could only find herself to be happy about one thing: come death, her and Morgause would not find themselves apart, even if they _were_ only bound together by servitude…

|x|

Morgause had been yelling at her for the better half of the last hour.

Morgana knew it was because she was relieved, scared, and confused all at once and she didn’t know how to handle it; but more than that, she also knew that she _deserved_ to get screamed at. Morgause was right; she had been foolish to go there. She played right into the Cailleach’s hands and made everything so easy for her. She should have talked to her sister; she should have waited.

She should have done a lot of things that made no damn difference now because she _didn’t._

When Morgana finally came to she found herself outside of the house, half buried in a pile of leaves with the worst headache she had ever known. Morgause was bent over her in a state of panic, frantically asking what had happened, who had done this to her, if she was hurt, how she got back there… It was all too much too fast and Morgana must have fainted and been out for quite a long while, because the next thing she knew she was in bed, stripped of her dirt-stained dress and in fresh nightwear just as her sister was, and Morgause knew better than to unload everything on her all at once.

Not that it mattered. Once Morgana got her wits about her, everything came pouring out between tears and apologies. She felt like she had failed her; she set off to save Morgause and only managed to enslave them both. Between that and finding out everything she had ever dreamed of achieving was pointless because that destiny was not hers, Morgana felt completely and utterly defeated.

“I’m so sorry,” she breathed between fallen tears, wiping them from her face violently in the hope that with them gone she would suddenly become stronger; better. Morgause had always warned her about not thinking things through; her impulsiveness was the death sentence of most of their failed plans to take over Camelot, and though Morgana thought by now she would have learned to listen; it seemed now that she never would.

She couldn’t even listen to something so simple as Morgause wanting _time._ No, she had to stalk off and try to make some big show to prove… what? To prove things her sister already knew; love, loyalty, trust? It was pointless, like every other bloody thing she had ever set out to do, and Morgana wanted nothing more than to just disappear in that moment because of how ashamed it made her feel.

“I never wanted this for you!”

“I know.”

And yet, Morgana did not regret it. She may not have saved Morgause, but she made sure they would never be without each other; even in death. Her failure to play the white knight was shameful, her guilt for scaring Morgause like that was written all over her face, yet she couldn’t help but feel a bit happy about her own enslavement, as misplaced as that emotion probably was. But Morgana would take a win where she could get it nowadays; as it was rare that she was allotted them.

“It’s not your job to save me!”

“And yet it’s yours to save me?” Morgana countered, hating that double-standard that Morgause had when it came to their relationship. She wiped away the tears on her cheek, telling her, “If you believe I should be regretful about trying, I’m not. I may have gone about it recklessly, but my heart was in the right place.”

“Perhaps, but you’ve doomed yourself in the process!”

“Then so be it!” Morgana shouted. “If the Gatekeeper has two souls instead of one then _so be it._ At least we’ll always be together.”

Morgause looked at her in disbelief, shaking her head. “You’re romanticizing something awful, Morgana; how can you not see that? Are you really that foolish that you wish to make our deaths become the final chapter to some kind of tragic fairytale?”

“It’s only tragic if you look at what we’re losing, instead of what we will gain.”

Morgause looked like she wanted to slap some sense into her, but they both knew she would never raise a hand towards Morgana. Still, her frustration with her sister’s lack of realization about how serious this situation was was written all over her features. “You should have just left well enough alone,” she told her softly, disappointment tingeing her words. “I can take care of myself. Perhaps your heart _was_ in the right place, but do you know how frightened I was when you had gone missing? You didn’t even think to leave a note, Morgana! That makes me wonder if you were even thinking about me, or if this was all about you and what you could prove to me.”

“Of course I was thinking about you!” Morgana replied fiercely. “All I do every _bleeding_ day is think about you, Morgause! Yes, I went about it the wrong way; I’ll admit that. And yes part of me wanted to prove something to you, but I did not set off for the Isle of the Blessed because of my _ego;_ I went because I thought I could save you! Maybe that was naive, maybe I _am_ nothing but an impulsive fool that lives in a deluded fairytale, but you’ve given me so much in my life that just _once_ I wanted to give you something back!”

“You gave me _you,_ Morgana!” the blonde exclaimed. “That’s enough! Don’t you see that’s all I ever wanted; to be able to call you mine? I need nothing else – not even in death – but the knowledge that you love me.”

Morgause’s hand was stroking her face and Morgana brought her own up to cover it, holding onto her tightly as she looked into her eyes. “I do love you,” Morgana whispered softly. “That’s why I couldn’t let it lie. If the positions were reversed, would you have ‘let well enough alone’?”

Morgause said nothing, but it was what Morgana expected.

“I thought not. You would have set out to save me like you always do; only you…” Morgana looked down, shame flooding her face again, “you probably would have succeeded where I have failed.” Another tear slipped down her cheek and Morgause wiped it away with her thumb before pressing her lips to her cheek, trying to comfort her.

“No, I probably wouldn’t have,” Morgause told her softly. “You set out to do the impossible, Morgana; though I know you think highly of me, even I couldn’t do what you tried to do. But you’re right… I would have tried, every single time.”

“The how can you be angry with me?” Morgana whispered, knowing she looked like nothing more than a confused child as she stared up at her older sister.

“I’m not,” Morgause promised her, wiping away another of her sister’s tears. “Not at you; just at the situation. I’m frightened for what this means for you and I’m angry that I wasn’t there to stop it from happening. I blame myself.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it? I feel like if I had just taken off my clothes for you, you would have been too busy to think of riding out to the Isle of the Blessed that night.”

“That wouldn’t have stopped me from going there later, and you know that,” Morgana whispered. She turned her head, kissing Morgause’s palm before finishing, “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry that I acted from impulse once again and scared you with my absence, but I will never be sorry for trying to save you; never.”

“I know,” Morgause breathed, leaning her forehead against hers as she closed her eyes. “And I both love and hate that more than anything…”

“I just… I wanted you to feel like you could trust me completely, as I feel with you…” Morgana told her sadly, allowing her fingertips to trail over the air above Morgause’s scars, afraid to actually attempt to touch them because she didn’t want to see her sister flinch away from her again. “I feel like I’m not good enough for you sometimes; you do so much and I so little. I wanted to balance out the scale, I suppose; but maybe I just didn’t try hard enough…”

“I do trust you, Morgana; and you _are_ good enough. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” The brunette stayed silent, not wanting to argue the point right now. Morgause cupped her cheek and made her look her in the eyes as she told her, “Our relationship is not a duel; there is neither a winner nor loser. Please trust me when I tell you that you’ve done enough for me; I could not bear it if you thought you were unworthy of my love because nothing could be further from the truth. _Nothing._ ”

Morgana still said nothing; she wished she could believe Morgause but it was hard. It _did_ feel like there was this invisible score hanging above their heads and Morgana hated feeling miles behind her sister. She tested the waters and tried to cup the side of Morgause’s neck that was scarred, but the second the blonde flinched Morgana’s heart sank in her chest and she pulled away, looking anywhere but at her face.

Morgause grabbed her hand, stilling her. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, though Morgana knew it should be her who was apologizing. “I didn’t mean to flinch; I do not mean to make it seem as if I don’t welcome your touch because I do.” She let out a small breath, bringing Morgana’s hand back to where it was. However, Morgana pulled it away once more and shook her head.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“It was merely an instinctual reaction, Morgana; it had nothing to do with you. It just feels… odd, is all. I’m fine with it, I promise. You’ve touched that part of me before, haven’t you?” 

Morgause pulled her hand back once more towards her neck and Morgana couldn’t help but smile softly as she let her touch her, even though Morgause was right in saying she had been allowed to touch them before. Regardless, it still felt like a step forward. Morgana ran her thumb over the raised ridges and said softly, “I know you’re going to think this is rubbish, but I like them… they give you character.”

“And I didn’t have that before?” Morgause questioned, a hint of a tease behind her words.

“You’ve always exploded with character,” Morgana told her honestly, looking from the scars and into her eyes. “But I think it’s nice to see proof of that on your body, rather than just in your personality.” She shook her head, feeling foolish. “I know you probably think I’m insane – I’m sorry.”

“I’ve always thought you a bit mad, Morgana,” Morgause told her softly, jesting a bit before she finished on a serious note, “But I’ve also always thought you were the sweetest person I’ve ever had the privilege to know. Only you would find beauty in the worst part of me.”

Morgana shook her head, cupping her sister’s marred cheek and running her thumb lovingly over the scars. “They’re not the worst part of you. You got them because you were trying to protect us and everything we worked so hard to achieve. How can I not think that they’re the most wonderful thing in the world because of that? They prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you would risk everything for me, for us, and I think that is…” she took a breath, trying to find the words. Finally she finished honestly, “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt, Morgause.”

Morgause’s eyes softened and all the love in the world poured through her gaze as she smiled at her sister. “You’re perfect, do you know that?”

“Not nearly as perfect as you.”

Morgana had never seen her sister blush, but she did just then. Morgause shook her head though, trying to downplay it as she half-joked, “You know, words like almost makes a woman want to shed her clothing. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me, Morgana Pendragon.”

Morgana smirked a little, her tone light as she replied, “Clearly you don’t know any better then, because that’s what I’ve been trying to do ever since I first kissed you.”

“Well I suppose it’s nice to have something to aspire to.”

Morgana chuckled, moving in to kiss her sister softly on the mouth before sliding her cheek against hers, pressing her lips to her ear. “I know a part of you really does believe I’m whispering sweet nothings to you to get what I want, but you’re wrong.” She placed a gentle kiss on Morgause’s neck before explaining, “What I say to you could never be nothing, because you are my everything. I mean every word that I say to you, my love.” She smirked a little before finishing, “But if that does get you to take off your clothes, I certainly wouldn’t complain.”

Morgause laughed a little at her honesty. “I don’t doubt that.” She watched her sister move back a little to look in her eyes and the need swirling behind them must have been apparent because Morgana noticed Morgause’s breathing shallow just a little bit. “Well,” Morgause started, toying gently at the strings that held together her sister’s silken night robe, “If I’m to be perfectly honest, it certainly makes me want to take off _your_ clothes as a start…” She moved to untie the knot that held Morgana’s clothing together, but the brunette stopped her by putting her hand over hers.

“I don’t want to do this unless I can touch you as well, you know this.”

Morgause looked up at her, a hint of a playfulness dancing in her eyes. “Well then, perhaps you should continue to whisper your sweet _everythings_ in my ear; I’m sure my clothes would fall off of their own accord eventually.” Though she did look a tad self-conscious at the prospect, she also seemed to be deadly serious and it made Morgana’s heart rate double and a flood of wetness pool between her thighs at the very thought.

Morgause tugged at the string that held Morgana’s robe together, allowing it to fall open to her hungry eyes. Morgana flushed slightly from the predatory glimmer in her sister’s gaze as she raked her eyes over her form, making the pit of her stomach fluttered both in nerves and excitement. She wanted to speak, continue to tell Morgause all of the beautiful things she had ever thought about her, but Morgana suddenly found her throat dry and the only thing emitted from her was a soft moan as Morgause slid her hands up her chest, cupping her full breasts in her hands. 

Morgana’s eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into her sister’s touch as Morgause told her breathlessly, “You are the most exquisite creature I’ve ever laid eyes upon, my dearest sister. Your beauty could bring entire kingdoms to their knees…” Her lips fluttered against the soft skin of Morgana’s throat, making her pulse jump and her nipples harden.

“And yet it is I who has wanted nothing more than to fall to my knees before your magnificent form,” Morgana breathed, shrugging out of the rest of her clothing before bringing her hand to her sister’s thigh, pushing up her night robe slowly. She did not wish to undress her too fast and risk overwhelming her; she knew how hard it was for Morgause to show her everything that she now was.

She could feel her sister smile slightly against her throat. As she ran her thumbs gently over the tips of Morgana’s strained nipples Morgause told her, “A Queen should never be on her knees.”

“I think even a Queen would make the exception if it meant she was between your thighs,” Morgana replied honestly, sliding her hand a bit further up Morgause’s leg, stopping just shy of the patch of hair between her thighs. “Besides,” she finished in a whisper. “I am no Queen. Not anymore.”

Morgause moved to place her lips against hers before telling her softly. “You are _my_ Queen, Morgana. You’re the light that shines in the darkness; you are what makes life worth living.” Morgana’s hand squeezed her sister’s thigh a little harder as suddenly she was swept up in a kiss that made her body weak and her head spin. It felt as though Morgause was trying to consume everything she was and Morgana was more than willing to let her have it.

Morgana’s moan was swallowed by her sister’s tongue as she drank up the last of her sanity and patience. She placed her hand on Morgause’s shoulder, breaking the kiss momentarily so she could request breathlessly, “Lie down for me. I want to…” but even though she knew what she was asking for in her head, the Lady in her seemed unable to form the words out loud and she blushed slightly. 

Morgause smirked at her sister’s hesitation to say what it was that she wanted. “ _Fall to your knees before me?_ ” she finished for her, every word having a double meaning behind it as she pinched Morgana’s nipple between her thumb and forefinger, milking another moan from her sister’s lips.

“Yes…” Morgana breathed, eyes fluttering closed momentarily from Morgause’s touch before she collected herself enough to open her eyes and get lost in her sister’s wanton gaze. “I want to taste you,” she told her, trying not to find herself blushing again. It wasn’t like she was inexperienced in bed, but she most certainly was when it came to women and besides, Morgana had never been so… blatantly _auditory_ about what she wanted when it came to sex before. She had always just… went with the flow of things. Though she could easily yield to Morgause’s wishes, her sister was the only one she ever felt comfortable enough with to be completely honest and she wanted to take advantage of that, no matter how much it still slightly embarrassed her. 

“Mmm…” Morgause purred, sliding her lips across Morgana’s jawline. When she got to her ear, just her heavy breathing next to it was enough to nearly make Morgana climax right there. “And what if I wished to taste you first…?”

Morgana tried to not let her sister’s sultry voice distract her and she ran her nails softly down Morgause’s thigh and then back up again, taking pleasure in the way she made the blonde shiver. “You would disobey your Queen’s wishes?” she half-jested, making Morgause chuckle softly into her ear.

“Well played.”

“I thought so,” she responded, smiling as she nuzzled Morgause’s face, gently encouraging to find her way back to her lips. After a lingering kiss Morgana requested again, “Lie down for me? Please.” Her words tickled her sister’s lips and when she looked up at her, Morgana wished she didn’t see the slightest bit of apprehension behind her eyes. “You don’t have to take off your clothes yet,” she promised her, trying to set Morgause’s mind at ease. “Just let me… move them a bit, alright?”

Morgana knew better than to try to undress Morgause when she wasn’t yet completely distracted; it left too much room for her to think and worry about how Morgana was going to react to her body. When she was moaning beneath her, _feeling_ instead of thinking, then and only then would Morgana try to shed her of her clothing.

After a few more needy kisses that stole Morgana’s breath right from her lungs, she had coaxed Morgause onto her back, pressing her thigh between her legs. The sound of her sister’s moans and the feeling of her wetness against her bare thigh made all of Morgana’s blood run south and she ground into a bit harder, getting some friction of her own momentarily before she made her descent down her body. She placed her lips against where Morgause’s scars seemed to end, halfway down her right thigh, feeling her sister tremble slightly in what she hoped was anticipation and not a moment of trepidation. Morgana’s heart was beating wildly in her chest, her own nerves settling in over what she was about to do, but she pushed past them as she settled down on her stomach, gently parting Morgause’s thighs.

The first touch of Morgana’s tongue against her sensitive flesh made Morgause bend her knees a little more in invitation, tangling her fingers through Morgana’s dark mane as she groaned low in her throat. “Gods,” she breathed. “ _Morgana…_ ”

Hearing her voice spoken with such wanton desire made Morgana dig her fingers a little harder into Morgause’s thigh as she wrapped her lips around her sister’s clit, feeling as though she may drown in the erotic scent that surrounded her. Morgause tasted of honey with a hint of something so much sweeter and the moans she milked from her were the sweetest music Morgana had ever heard. She put every effort into making her sister feel more wonderful than she ever had in her life – using her mouth in ways she had never imagined until she took one look at the beautiful creature that Morgause was – and Morgana found herself proud of the fact that it didn’t take long until she had her sister gasping and clawing at the bedding.

“Please, please…”

Morgana knew what it was that she wanted and she lifted her head, replacing her mouth with her fingers as she leaned forward over Morgause to capture her lips in a kiss. Morgause moaned hard into her mouth when Morgana slipped inside of her, and the brunette found herself groaning in desire at the way her sister’s muscles clenched around her fingers, drawing her in even deeper. Morgause felt more amazing than anything she had ever dreamed and while her sister clawed at her back, pressing her hips into her, Morgana used the opportunity to untie Morgause’s robe with her other hand.

She found that nearly the entire right half of Morgause’s body was littered with scarring, but the last thing Morgana felt was horror at the sight. “You are so amazing,” Morgana breathed in awe before dipping her head down, capturing one of her sister’s nipples between her lips. 

Morgause arched her back and moaned, her nails breaking skin as they dug a little too hard into Morgana’s back. But she didn’t care; she couldn’t feel anything else other than desire that was beyond all sane thought and reasoning. She sped up the pace of her fingers, making Morgause thrash beneath her and gasp out her name once more before suddenly she must have decided she wanted to top, because Morgana found their positions reversed in the blink of an eye.

She was stunned momentarily by the change, but Morgause begged, “Don’t stop,” against her lips before pinning down her free wrist and slipping two of her own fingers inside of Morgana. The brunette cried out as she spread her legs for her, silently encouraging Morgause to go deeper. Her sister conceded and pressed her thigh against the back of her hand, sending shockwaves of pleasure to every nerve ending in Morgana’s body.

“Fuck, _fuck,_ ” Morgause swore as Morgana’s thumb found her clit, making her shudder above her. She moved her thigh so she could place her hips against her hand that was inside Morgana, pushing their fingers even harder into each other as she started rolling her body against hers. Morgana cried out her name in praise and arched her spine, needing to get closer to her. Morgause’s breasts felt like heaven against her skin and she wished more than anything that she could use her free hand to grab at her; however it seemed Morgause enjoyed immobilizing her a little bit. But then again, she always did like control.

“Tell me you love me,” Morgana gasped against her lips, feeling her head cloud with pleasure and her muscles tighten around her sister’s fingers as she got closer to the edge.

“More than _anything._ ”

“Tell me I’m yours…!”

“Until the sun above us burns the world to ash, my love,” Morgause promised her breathlessly before sweeping her up in another kiss, leaving Morgana nothing but a needy servant of her perfect touch. Though Morgana was sure it would be her that climaxed first as she was so close, suddenly she felt a pulsing wave flow through her sister and Morgause cried out; clenching tightly around Morgana’s fingers as she buried her head in her neck , hips twitching in the aftershock of her incredible high. 

Morgana whimpered in need, as Morgause’s peak had interrupted getting to her own, and though she tried to wait for her sister to get her bearings on reality again, she could not help herself from frantically pushing her hips against Morgause’s hand and begging, “Please…!” It took a moment, but Morgause chuckled softly before biting down on the junction between Morgana’s neck and shoulder, making her cry out her name in desperation and need.

“Always impatient,” Morgause chided lightly before pressing her palm hard against the sensitive flesh between Morgana’s thighs. She moved her fingers inside of her with such expertise that within mere moments she had Morgana sobbing with ecstasy, trashing beneath her as she rode out the climax to the most perfect experience she had ever known.

As Morgana lied on her back, her eyes closed and attempting to breathe, she felt Morgause shift so she was lying next her. She tried to pull the covers up around them but Morgana held out her hand to stop her, shaking her head erratically since she still did not have enough breath to speak.

“You’re not cold?” Morgause asked with much too innocent of a voice, considering Morgana knew what she was trying to do.

“I’m… _sweating,_ ” Morgana pointed out to her, still trying to catch her breath. It took a moment but she turned her head and opened her eyes, looking at her sister. “Besides, I know… you’re only doing that because—sorry,” she apologized halfway through, shaking her head a little to try to make herself more aware of the here and now, “I think… mmff, I think you just might have just fucked me senseless. _Gods._ ”

Morgause smirked, welling up a bit with pride. “Did I now?”

“Mmm,” Morgana told her, looking at her with a content smile on her face before Morgause tried to wrap the covers around her body again. Morgana slapped her hand to stop her. “ _No._ ”

“Morgana, I’m cold. Are you trying to tell me I can’t get under the blankets in my own bed now?”

“You’re not cold; for one, I see the sweat dripping from your neck and for two, I’m not stupid – I know you’re trying to cover your body from me. But I love your body; I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, so please _stop it,_ ” Morgana replied, her request coming out more like a demand. “And come here,” she finished, holding out her arms for Morgause to climb into. Her sister raised an eyebrow at her and Morgana batted her eyelashes, trying to get away with looking adorable after she had basically just ordered her around. “Please?” she tried.

“You’re very demanding after sex, it seems. If you were anyone else I would tell you that that’s unattractive, but I don’t think it’s humanly possible for you to _be_ unattractive,” Morgause told her, half-serious. Morgana frowned.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, scrunching up her face a little in guilt as she put her arms down. “I just… I didn’t want to take a step forward, only to take a step back. Please don’t hide from me, Morgause.”

“I’m not.”

“You were going to.”

“Yes well; now I won’t, alright?” Morgause replied, looking down at her sister’s pale form. She seemed a little frustrated with having to admit that, but when Morgana cupped her cheek in her hand and stared up at her with a loving and grateful smile, Morgause’s frustration seemed to melt away. “How are you even real?” she whispered, looking down at her sister in awe of her beauty.

“Mmm…” Morgana muttered though soft chuckles as she stretched her arms and legs. “ _Magick,_ ” she answered with a smirk. Morgause looked amused by that answer.

“Magick did a good job of making you then.”

“As it did you,” Morgana answered with a smile, lacing her fingers through her sister’s before coaxing her down to lay on top of her. She kissed her softly before informing her with a naughty smile. “Break time’s over.”

Morgause laughed. “And who’s to say that this was a break, and not just the end?”

“Me,” Morgana told her, nipping at her bottom lip. “Because I regret to inform you, my dearest sister, that I will be keeping you in this bed for at _least_ three days.” She slid her hands down her back, taking pleasure in Morgause’s soft gasp as she grabbed at her arse.

“Oh you ‘regret’ to inform me, do you?” Morgause answered playfully, her turn to nip at Morgana’s lips, her tongue, her throat. “You don’t sound like you regret it,” she breathed against her skin, making Morgana close her eyes and whimper softly.

“I don’t; I lied,” Morgana gasped out quickly, feeling her sister’s nimble fingers begin to tease one of her already over-sensitive nipples. “I’m quite ecstatic about it, actually— _Oh!_ ” Her eyes flew shut and her hips bucked against her sister as Morgause bit down on her neck with enough force to get her blood pumping.

But then suddenly something came to mind and Morgana popped her eyes open, taking Morgause’s hand in hers to still her movements on her breast. As much fun as she was having, she wondered about something her sister had said a couple weeks ago. “Do you mind I ask you something?” she questioned softly.

Morgause took note of her serious tone and looked down at her, creasing her eyebrows a little. “Of course I don’t mind. You can ask me anything; you know that.”

Morgana bit her bottom lip softly for a moment, looking up at her as she allowed her fingers to gently caress her sister’s hand. “You said… _before_ , that you died with regrets; something to do with me. Will you… tell me what that was?”

“You really don’t know by now?” Morgause responded, looking at her like the question was absurd. Morgana shrugged slightly, not wanting to assume. “I died without telling you that I was in love with you.”

Morgana took a small breath. Part of her knew that would be the answer, but that led to another question. “But that’s such a simple thing to do,” she told her. “Why would you not just come to me during Samhain and tell me? You could have found eternal peace in the afterlife if you had just done so.”

Morgause shook her head. “I could never do that to you. Even if you didn’t return my feelings, that is not something I can just say and disappear. Besides,” she leaned down, kissing Morgana once on the lips. “Would we be here if I had just done that?”

“No…”

“And you like being here, do you not?”

“Yes, but—”

Morgause cut off her protests with a kiss, making Morgana’s brain turn to mush and her loins alight with fire. When they broke, Morgana had forgotten what they were even speaking about, at least until her sister finished what she was going to say. “Having but a short time with you on this earth is better than having an eternity of peace without you,” Morgause whispered against her lips. “I believe that with all my heart, Morgana; you are worth more than anything to me.”

Morgana blinked back tears, smiling up at her. She was complete and utter perfection in her eyes. “I love you more than life, Morgause,” she breathed, gently tucking a piece of blonde hair behind her sister’s ear.

“And I you, my beautiful Queen.”

No, maybe it wasn’t perfect; and yes, perhaps they _were_ just characters in some kind of tragic fairytale, but Morgana knew with just one look at Morgause that she would rather live in a tragedy with her, than have a ‘perfect’ life without her. Because in Morgana’s eyes, perfection didn’t exist outside of her sister’s loving gaze; and she would not give that up for anything.

**THE END**


End file.
